a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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