I want to walk on stilts...naked
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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