he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
