So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
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He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
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Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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