Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
