I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
