your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
