where am i from again
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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