Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
