Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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