He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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