The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
