its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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