marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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