There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize