i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
