Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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