So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I will die if light touches me.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She even gives head with a lisp.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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