I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
