bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
