just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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