Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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