Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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