My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The police scanner is talking about you again....
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
