you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
