Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
