we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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