brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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