you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
pop tarts are not kleenex
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
