My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize