I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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