I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
