he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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