from now on my penis is your penis
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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