How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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