It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I think I just sharted jello shots
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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