$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
