I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
