I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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