Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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