haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
