Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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