we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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