Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
