Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
