So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
