So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
