i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
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I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
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Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You are a genius and a whore.
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