Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
