Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
