Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
