How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize