I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
