God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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