god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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