a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I wish i was in the wii world.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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