We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
