mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
