I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
