This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
