I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
