sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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