Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
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I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
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You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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