"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
