now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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