so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
