i barfeds in our rink
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize