Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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